Monday, June 15, 2009

Something Wonderful Has Happened...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Deep Thoughts...


People with mirrors directly across from their toilets will probably never think about their appearance in more depth than they do when they're pooping.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Sleeping Is Giving In...

Just finished wrapping gifts for the family. It's 7am. Awesome.

This is the first December in memory that I haven't spent fishing a cat out of our Christmas tree. It's because my family has a bad history with pets and killed lost the last one too recently to have replaced her in time. Over the years I've become increasingly angry with my gay dad and my sister for being so horrible at keeping their pets alive; this year I'm just sad. As annoying as a destructive, untrained, unsupervised animal with claws can be, it's really hard to be mad at a cat in a Christmas tree.

[disclaimer: not my cat, found in this wonderful place]


The letter I wrote up for next year:

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is for my family to stop inadvertently putting animals in mortal peril.


And now some more cats.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Niche Advertising...

I recently realized that my high school gym outfit includes the only set of sweat pants I own. To remedy this, I made a trip over to google shopping this morning to grab some cheap sweats. While perusing their list of products I came across something that I thought was a bit odd.



Product description:
One way to let women know they can leave an abusive relationship is for them to see others who have left and survived. A worn but still working heart says "Domestic Violence Survivor."

Now, I may be wrong here, but I really doubt that Jane Domesticabusevictim is going to be spurned into action because some chick at the gym is advertising her own past abuse. If someone I loved was beating the ever-living hell out of me and that alone wasn't enough to make me ditch them, I'm thinking that a hoodie wouldn't quite do the trick.

Anyway, I started snooping around the T-Shirts and Gifts For Strong Women site and found a couple other gems. The Message To Abusers large wall clock and Domestic Violence Sisters yard sign are real winners.


... Apparently the thing that unites women everywhere is domestic violence, and you should let everyone that walks past your house know it! I particularly enjoy the lit stick of dynamite on the clock. Adds a little pizazz.


Oh, because I know you were worried, items are available for your pets.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Things I Learned In College...

Rats and horses can't vomit. Who knew?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Shut Down All The Trash Compactors On The Detention Level...

I actually purchased, with real American currency, a CD this weekend. I was in Barnes & Noble and I picked up the Zack and Miri Make a Porno Soundtrack.


I looked at the back and instantly laid down the $16.99 plus tax. This was almost exclusively because I aim to support anyone who will attach Fett's Vette to their business endeavors in any fashion.

I haven't seen the movie yet but I'm fairly certain that I am now obligated.

Monday, October 13, 2008

What Year Is It?

I didn't think anything could take up more of my time and attention than google reader. I thought wrong. I recently subscribed to netflix and... things may have gotten a little out of hand.


On the first day I inadvertently discovered that the maximum number of movies that can stay in your queue at a time is 500. I think I've just about made it my mission to see everything... ever. By my calculations I have spent about 15% of my waking time over the past few months with my new love.

I think may have a problem.